Couples of all sorts frequently encounter hurdles in their relationship, be they physical, emotional, or mental. Few things can be more frustrating for a relationship, however, than dealing with a girlfriend who has a higher sex drive than you. So what exactly should a couple do when they run into this problem, and what common pitfalls should they avoid?
Sex is a natural and healthy part of any human relationship, but the differences in you and your partner’s preferences may drive you over the edge if they’re not properly managed. By following the advice below, you can overcome some of the challenges facing you and your girlfriend in and out of the bedroom.
Discussing your relationship openly.
The first step toward solving any problem in the bedroom is by approaching it openly and honestly, which means you and your girlfriend will need to set some time apart to be together and go over your differences in private. Establishing free time to talk in a place where you’re both comfortable is a must before you can hope to iron out the wrinkles in your relationship.
It’s perfectly normal to have different preferences, even large ones, with your couple when it comes to the bedroom. The natural solution to many of the problems encountered in most relationships is to establish what your differences are first, and then to finely delineate between both of your needs and your wants. For your relationship to thrive well into the future, one partner’s wants cannot impede on another’s needs.
It can be easy for couples to resort to the blame game, or to take issues like this, which revolve around sexuality, far too personally. Be sure that you and your partner both understand that a situation such as this can be uncomfortable, but that there’s no need for spiteful words or thoughts, as you’re only trying to genuinely clean up a dark spot in your relationship.
If you think your difference in the bedroom could be an indicator of broader problem or problems in your relationship, don’t be afraid to bring it up for fear of loss. Talking to one another honestly and freely when it comes to intimate issues like this is a must if you’re to build empathy, which is needed for any loving relationship to last.
Sync your sex drives.
Getting the stars to align in the bedroom is by no means easy, but by taking some steps to sync your sex drives, you and your partner can get on the same page as one another. This may mean taking some extra time to plan your schedules – if you’re both intensely busy with work or school, for instance, it’s vitally important that you block off both personal time and time spent with your partner so you can both recharge and connect.
Sex therapists have already harped heavily on the benefits of syncing your sex drives, which can increase libido if one partner isn’t feeling comfortable or help another, overly-eager partner temper their urges. An individual’s sexuality is almost always an intricately complicated thing, so don’t be afraid to unpack your preferences with your girlfriend in detail (provided you’re both comfortable with it) to strengthen the bond between the two of you.
A necessary part of this is taking what your partners says at face value – if they say they’re not in the mood, it should be understood that you shouldn’t be pushing the issue. Make this clear to both parties in the relationship so that no one is being unfairly forced into something they don’t want to do, or feel as if they have to meet their partner’s higher sex drive out of an obligation to them.
There’s much more to the female sex drive than mere hormones, something a surprisingly large amount of partners can forget. Take some time to educate yourself with reliable information outside of the bedroom to better bridge the gap between you inside of it.
Recognize that some divides can’t be bridged.
Perhaps the most important thing to remember when dealing with differing sex drives between partners is that some people are simply different than others, and your preferences may be irreconcilable with your partners. This doesn’t have to spell the end of a relationship, of course – by compromising based on the specifics of your situation, you can settle on a schedule where you get the best of both worlds, and both partners make a sacrifice for the benefit of the other.
Maintaining an open and honest partnership where one partner isn’t doing something unhappily out of obligation is critical for your relationship to thrive.
A girlfriend with a higher sex drive than you don’t spell the end of your time together – it just means you need to sit down and work out the differences to enjoy your time in the bedroom all the more.
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